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Peter I cant explain the numbing feeling I have at the moment, just feels like I let my self go through a roller coaster after eating way too much food. An old friend from school contacted me and we hit it off really well. Been texting and talking on the phone and I knew from the get go, this is not a good idea. Being lonely and wanting some attention from the opposite sex, I kept up with conversations and texting, etc. I stopped to visit at her place and we talked but that was all. It was then that I started to really realize how much I had put this incounter ahead of everything, let it distract me from the reality I am in. Also realized how much I had been crushing on this woman and how I was willing to compromise myself. The only thing I can really thing of is that the Lord has put this trial in my life to realize what I should and shouldnt be doing. I am very guarded, so, any physical interaction was nil, I just dont trust myself to even give her a hug. I felt so badly after I left and had to call to appologize. She shrugged it off and counted it as nothing. Thats when I really realized waht was going on in my heart. I pray and thank the Lord for this moment, to help me see things for what they are. I am so heart crushed in my marriage, or failing marriage. My wife seems ever so much more distant, not there anymore, and aside from our children, this would be the only reason we have to even talk. I see things as the Lord sees them when looking at her; lost, hopeless, hurting, stubborn, searching. I wish I could help but is all in Jesuss hands. I hate that she is seeing someone else and I cant even fathom the idea of reconciling, only through Jesus could that happen. I am only a man, but I know that Jesus through me could make anything happen. I am so sad for my children, the life they are facing is not going to be a fun one. I try to make it the best possible, to be there and interact with them as much as possible. We have yet to file papers but it is inevitable. Today Im feeling numb and sad, not sure if I want to cry or keep working. So much pain, I cant even think of how bad it is, too much to bare. Im only requesting prayer for strength and encouragement, pray for my children and pray for my wife. 4 Years Ago Commit to pray Write a prayer for this person Share
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